First night Jack

I spent the rest of the day at home.

I had first taken advantage of one of the rare times I had the house to myself to stare at the aquarium and touch the different rugs (I liked their texture and following the different lines that formed their mosaic). I loved it, but it's one of the behaviors that led Tom's parents to send me to that psychiatrist. And then when I did it, Tom would let out long complaints of boredom. According to him, a teenager had much more fun things to do when he had the house to himself (which I found very hard to conceive). But there, I felt I deserved a reward and anyway, he didn't dare contradict me for fear of the consequences it could have on his brother (in the long term, it might complicate our relationship further, but I'd deal with that later).

Once his parents returned, I took refuge in my room to do Tom's homework, then to read the zoology books I had borrowed from the library. Earth was truly a fascinating planet and I never tired of learning more about the animals that inhabited it.

It is one of the few aspects of my life as a soldier that I have always appreciated. Discovering the wildlife of a new planet. Even after several decades, I never tired of the incredible diversity the universe offered. Even after traveling to dozens of planets, I hadn't found two biospheres that resembled each other in the slightest. Moreover, these rare moments of exploration were the only times when my former Hork-Bajir host did not confront me. He enjoyed these moments as much as I did.

Unfortunately, wonder was always followed by pain. The empire did not send its divisions to resorts. Very quickly, gigantic mining and industrial installations were set up there to support the war effort. The wildlife was reduced to the minimum necessary to allow the survival of the millions of slaves running the factories. Anyway, I became too busy monitoring the slaves (or the hosts while their Yeerk was feeding) to be able to devote time to such leisure. And then inevitably, as remote as our colonies were, sooner or later the Andalites would land and the planet would become a vast battlefield, untilthat the consequences of the fighting had made it uninhabitable. I hoped that the earth would not meet this sad fate.

I emerged from my reveries when I heard:

Tom, come down. It's time to eat.

I'm coming right away, mom.

I went down to the living room and took my seat. Papa said grace, then we began to eat without paying the slightest attention to the absence of the dwarf.

Jack does not eat with us.

No. He's spending the night at Marco's. He called me earlier to ask for permission.

Outwardly, I continued to eat as if nothing had happened, but inwardly, I was agitated. Should I be worried about it or not? My fear must have been strong enough for Tom to feel it, because he said.

(After what happened, there is nothing worrying about him not wanting to sleep at home. Once again, he is smart. He won't try anything stupid. And even if he talked about it to his friends like you think, what difference does it make? I bet you anything you want that they think he's crazy.)

I imagined the dwarf trying to explain to Marco that an alien had taken his brother's place, then drugged and handcuffed him only to release him without causing him any harm. Even I found it hard to believe that I had really done that. Despite my illness up to now, I had never had any trouble doing what was necessary to survive. And I had had to do things far more terrible than turning a child into a controller. Once again, maybe I was getting older. Or maybe it was this planet that was softening me. It was the first time I was anything other than a soldier.

Jack didn't sleep at home the following night either. But on Monday, his mother insisted that he come back. Throughout the meal, he tried to appear normal, but I caught him giving me worried looks. I decided to ignore him and hope the problem would resolve itself. But when I returned from my outing to the basketball court, I saw a slight glow in his room. Obviously, he wasn't sleeping. I searched through Temrash114's old belongings and once I found what I was looking for, I knocked on Jack's door. There was no answer.

It's me, Thévenin. I know you're up.

What do you want? he asked with a voice full of defiance.

I would like to talk about your behavior. You're not acting normally at all and you're going to end up drawing attention to us.

Leave me alone. I'm trying to sleep.

But you are not sleeping. You are afraid of me. Once again, I congratulate you, it's a very good reaction to have for a future host, but if you are not braver, I will be forced to inform the other Yeerks so that we take you to the pool by force and hope that my punishment is not too severe.

Tom mentally facepalmed as a flow of insults reached me from the other side of the door.

(Let me talk to him, you're only making the problem worse) Tom asked me.

What are you talking about? I'm handling the situation perfectly.

(Thevenin, please, let me do it.) He insisted.

I mentally sighed and decided to yield to my host's whim. After all, complying with such a request could only improve our relationship.

Hey, dwarf. It's me, Tom, Thévenin gave me control.

I will believe it the day you are no longer in Tom's head. Jack replied angrily.

I suspect it and in some way, I'm glad. You can't imagine the nightmare it was to see my former Yeerk pretending to be me and no one noticing the difference. Gradually losing all hope that someone would notice something and come to my aid. In the first days, I was convinced that mom would realize it, that she would call the FBI and that I would get my life back as before. That's what kept me going. I even forced myself to follow the boring math class through my Yeerk's eyes to not fall behind. The worst moment was when I realized it wouldn't happen.

Through the door, I heard Jack sniffle. I waited in silence until he said:

Why are you doing this? Does it amuse you to make me suffer? Is that it, you just want to have some fun with your prey before delivering me. You can stop, I know I'm not doing anything to help. That I'm still not doing anything. No need to make me feel more guilty.

You've always been too responsible. You've done much more than you think. I was convinced that as serious as you were, you would join the sharing. You can't know how happy it made me when you shut down Temrash. That's the name of my former Yeerk. The one before Thevenin, I added hastily.

I know.

How do you know that? I asked surprised and I felt Thévenin's pressure in my mind grow stronger. He was interested too.

But Jack quickly dodged the question by stating.

It's thanks to you. I saw your signal at the barbecue sharing party. I know you paid a high price for it.

At the mention of remembering, I had a flashback. A few months ago, Temrash114 had managed to convince Jack and his friends to come to a party organized on the beach by the 'sharing' (the charity that served as a cover for the yeerks to recruit new hosts). Just as Jack seemed convinced to attend a meeting, I had briefly managed to regain control of his face.

Once he regained control, Temrash114 had tortured me for a week to make me pay for my act of rebellion. Jack knew nothing of what those few seconds had cost me when I managed to regain control, and I wanted it to stay that way. Thévenin gave me what he called a mental hug and chased away the memory. The sensation indeed felt a lot like a hug, but with a calming effect added. For once, I nestled into it without resistance. That week of suffering in silence in my own head while watching my family and friends laugh as if nothing had happened had been the worst moment of my life.

(At least now you know it was useful. At least him, you were able to save him). Thévenin comforted me.

For the umpteenth time, I felt a sense of gratitude towards him. I knew I shouldn't. I knew that all of this was partly his fault. I knew he was certainly one of the pool guards who ignored my complaints and then forced me back into that hell the two times whenTemrash114 had to interrupt his sessions to go eat in the pool (while half-drowning in the process).

You never told me that you held it against me for that. I understand how you feel, but how could I have known? And even so, what would you have wanted me to do?

I had no desire to get into this debate tonight, and besides, Jack must have started to find it strange that I wasn't saying anything.

(We'll talk about it another time). Thévenin specified to me.

It was not that bad. I lied. And if you noticed it, then it was worth it. Not wanting to remember that period anymore, I quickly changed the subject. Listen. If I were in your place, I wouldn't be able to sleep either at the thought of finding myself powerless again in front of that monster and waking up having lost control of my body.

(Hey, I'm not a monster.) I ignored Thévenin's comment.

Jack finally opened his door.

It's okay. You don't scare me.

Her gestures contradicted her words.

How's it going, shorty? I know you by heart. You can't hide anything from me.

I tried to ruffle his hair, but he pulled back. I made no comment and continued.

And if you weren't afraid, I would seriously question your mental health. Listen, Thévenin is weird, even by Yeerk standards, but he's not mean. He doesn't realize what he's doing. At least, I think so.

(I am not sure if I should take it well) commented Thevenin in my head.

Once again, I ignored Thévenin's comment and took out of my pocket the devices that Thévenin had been looking for earlier.

In short, he didn't want to threaten you. He just wanted to give you this. It's a motion detector alarm. Temrash114 got it from one of his underlings who works at the police. He used it to secure the rooms where they met to plot and take over promotions. If you place it in front of your bed, you will be immediately awakened if someone enters or approaches you. Just be careful that Homer doesn't activate it by mistake or you'll have to explain to dad how you got it (Homer was Jack's dog).

He took the alarm, examined it and said:

It doesn't change anything. I still don't trust you, and I know you're pretending to act like Tom.

Good night Jack.

Good night Tom. If you can still hear me down there.

Then he returned to his room, and I hoped that from now on he would be able to sleep. Just before feeling the unpleasant sensation of Thévenin violently driving me to the depths of my mind. Even after all this time, I couldn't get used to this sensation. My body then started moving on its own towards the bed in my room.

Don't worry about him. You have done everything possible to help him. And besides, his nights can't be more restless than yours.

I'm not worried. He is strong. More than he thinks.